I often feel like a 21-year-old grandma, not a “normal” college student—or at least not the version of one I thought I was supposed to be.
While I do crave being around people, I am not always drawn to the “party” scenes that seem to define college for everyone else. I am a homebody.
I’d much rather stay indoors and watch a movie in my matching pajama sets, or do crafts instead of going out.
A few days ago, I texted my boyfriend and one of my friends: Am I boring? Do you think I’m not doing what a 21-year-old should be doing?
It was the weekend before St. Patrick’s Day. My friends were already going out in Ann Arbor. My boyfriend and his friends were getting ready to bar-hop in their college town in California.
Meanwhile, I was in bed by 9 p.m., my Korean face mask pressed into my skin with tea on my nightstand.
There’s an unspoken idea in college that fun is something you’re supposed to recognize instantly—loud, crowded, a little chaotic. And if your version of fun looks different, it is easy to wonder if you’re somehow doing it all wrong.
On a campus as large as U-M, where “work hard, play hard” feels like a shared mentality, that question gets even louder.
I’ve been realizing that fun doesn’t always have to announce itself in the same way for each person. It can be quieter, and for me, it is. Sometimes it’s choosing where you feel most like yourself, without the pressure of doing something you don’t want to do.
Through my ongoing Junk Journal blog for the Division of Student Life, I started finding spaces on campus that felt more like that: low-pressure, welcoming and still social in their own way.
That is how I ended up going to Shamrock Showdown.
Hosted by the Center for Campus Involvement, Beyond the Diag, Wolverine Wellness and the Division of Public Safety and Security, the event gave me the chance to play games, compete in mini golf and eat a meal with others to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.
Being there felt simple. It was an easy way to feel involved in festivities without pressure or expectations. Just a space to show up, participate and be myself.
When I arrived at the Michigan Union, I picked up my own plate of food, took a seat and started conversing with others around me.
Across the table, two seniors told me that they had been trying to attend as many Student Life events as possible before graduating—moments they didn’t want to miss before leaving.
Something about that stuck with me.
Sitting there and sipping green lemonade, I thought about how I had been measuring my own college experience. I was quick to compare it to someone else’s version of a “good time.”
I thought back to my boyfriend’s response to my text:
“I don’t want you to feel like you’re not acting like a ‘normal’ college student. You can do whatever you want,” he said encouragingly. “As long as you are happy with what you’re doing, then that’s all that matters.”
At the end of the day, I am content with how I choose to live my life. I don’t have to do things that don’t feel like me in order for my college experience to matter or for me to be doing it the “right” way.
Finding events on campus that fit me, or places where I can just show up, be present and leave feeling fulfilled has nothing to do with keeping up with other students.
Spaces like Shamrock Showdown continue to show me that there isn’t just one way to experience college. There are communities intentionally built for all kinds of students. We’re lucky for that.
While I still have nights where I wonder if I should be doing more or going out more, I am starting to trust that the moments that feel natural or unforced are the ones that matter most.
To be continued in scraps and stickers,
Natalie